1 00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:03,004 - Previously onWarehouse 13... 2 00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,589 - I love you, little sister, 3 00:00:04,798 --> 00:00:08,050 And I am counting on you to fix all of this. 4 00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:16,852 - You love me, and I love you. It's simple. 5 00:00:16,852 --> 00:00:20,938 - It's just that your life is filled with excitement 6 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,607 And danger, 7 00:00:22,691 --> 00:00:25,526 And it's all the things that I don't want. 8 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:29,112 Good-bye, Pete. 9 00:00:52,012 --> 00:00:54,180 - "but who was this woman, and why did she--" 10 00:00:54,431 --> 00:00:56,182 Hey, hey, what? What, what, what, what? 11 00:00:56,349 --> 00:00:57,433 What, are you writing a book? 12 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,269 - No. Yes. 13 00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:02,313 No, which answer will make you stop asking? 14 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:05,232 - No, no, I think it's cool. When did you start? 15 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,444 - Off and on about a year ago. 16 00:01:07,444 --> 00:01:08,652 - You're on page six. 17 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:09,612 - More off than on. 18 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:12,281 - Hello, hello? 19 00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,743 - Ugh, come on, Artie, I just sat down. 20 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:16,286 - Thank god you're here. 21 00:01:16,286 --> 00:01:17,370 - Relax, I'm not here for you. 22 00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:19,539 [yelling] Steve, steve, steve! 23 00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:21,165 - What, what, are you okay? What's wrong? 24 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:23,168 - There's a ping for you and Claudia. 25 00:01:23,252 --> 00:01:25,169 - That's why you're yelling like your hair's on fire? 26 00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,504 - Whoa, so what, are you benching us or-- 27 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:27,338 - Why is that ping not for us? Yeah. 28 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,132 - I'm worried about Claudia. 29 00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,009 She's locked up for two days in the Warehouse. 30 00:01:31,009 --> 00:01:32,635 She's researching her sister claire. 31 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:33,595 It's not healthy. 32 00:01:33,595 --> 00:01:34,721 - So you're trying to distract her. 33 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:36,513 - Yeah, because--shush you! Look, there's a ping. 34 00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:38,682 There's trouble. There's artifacts. Go. 35 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,225 Go, go, go. 36 00:01:42,395 --> 00:01:43,771 Ooh, is that a hoagie? 37 00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,231 Oh, I want a hoagie. 38 00:01:45,482 --> 00:01:46,941 - He'll get nothing and like it. 39 00:01:47,609 --> 00:01:50,278 - Hello, Pete? - Kelly. 40 00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:51,488 Wha--hey. 41 00:01:51,571 --> 00:01:55,616 - I'm sorry to burst in like this, but I'm in trouble. 42 00:01:56,493 --> 00:01:57,493 - Oh, my god. 43 00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,246 Are you--are we--am I-- 44 00:02:00,497 --> 00:02:01,873 But we were--oh, my god. 45 00:02:01,873 --> 00:02:02,957 - You know what, I'm going to leave you two alone. 46 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,834 - Myka, please stay. 47 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:07,670 Pete, relax, this isn't about the baby. 48 00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:09,881 It's not yours. I'm married. 49 00:02:09,881 --> 00:02:12,342 Besides, we broke up, like, two years ago. 50 00:02:12,759 --> 00:02:14,760 You do know how babies are made, right? 51 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:15,970 - Pete, exhale. 52 00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:19,099 - [exhales] thank you. 53 00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,767 [chuckles] that's-- wow, that's great. 54 00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,645 Congrats. 55 00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:26,272 - Listen, I actually need both your help. 56 00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:29,483 My grandmother's tv is possessed. 57 00:02:32,154 --> 00:02:33,613 - Well, if I can't temper her outbursts, 58 00:02:33,613 --> 00:02:34,655 Maybe I should focus on her telekinesis. 59 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:35,198 - Claude. 60 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:38,159 - I could recreate the music box song and do a brain scan... 61 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:38,743 - Claude. 62 00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:39,076 - But then she'd have to be awake 63 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:39,952 And could blow up the building. 64 00:02:40,036 --> 00:02:41,245 - Claude! - Ahh! Jeez. 65 00:02:41,371 --> 00:02:42,913 Don't sneak up on me like that. 66 00:02:43,832 --> 00:02:45,458 - I've been standing here. 67 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,418 - Well, stand louder. 68 00:02:47,544 --> 00:02:48,878 - You're tense. 69 00:02:49,004 --> 00:02:49,838 - [exhales] - How's it going? 70 00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:52,131 - I want to punch things. 71 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,175 - Okay, you need a break. We got a ping. 72 00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,677 - What? No. No, no, no, no. No. 73 00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:57,470 I have so much work to do. 74 00:02:57,470 --> 00:02:59,848 I'm on the verge of a major breakthrough here, so... 75 00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:02,182 - Oh, really? What, uh--what is that? 76 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,437 - Well, it's--you know. 77 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:09,149 I can--I can circumvent-- 78 00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:11,234 Oh, god, I hate being friends with you. 79 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,695 - "charlie battes, college student. 80 00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,446 "while giving a presentation in class, 81 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:18,199 His spine spontaneously broke in three places." 82 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,325 - Did Artie send you? 83 00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:22,203 - No, I saw it on cnn. Yes, Artie sent me. 84 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:25,456 - [groans] fine, I'll go, errand boy. 85 00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:26,916 But this better be snappy. 86 00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:31,547 - Oh, yeah, man, I love books. I'm a big fan of books. 87 00:03:31,547 --> 00:03:34,507 As a matter of fact, I got a lot of great ideas for your book. 88 00:03:34,507 --> 00:03:36,300 Now, I'm guessing it's kind of 89 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:40,180 A spy romance novel with a sci-fi bent. 90 00:03:40,389 --> 00:03:42,849 Well, do you think we could get some robots in there? 91 00:03:42,932 --> 00:03:46,060 - Yeah, Pete, definitely. You know, naked, sexy fembots. 92 00:03:46,811 --> 00:03:49,981 - Kelly, thank god, just please distract him. 93 00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:53,109 - So my nana's been homebound ever since my grandpa died. 94 00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:54,986 - Right, and you said that was two years ago? 95 00:03:54,986 --> 00:03:57,197 - Yes, I usually come twice a week to bring her food, 96 00:03:57,197 --> 00:04:00,283 Magazines, and usually she's in there watching tv, 97 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:03,660 But this morning, I just found this. 98 00:04:06,081 --> 00:04:08,498 - Ooh, and this is what was on when you found it? 99 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,250 - Yes. 100 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:10,793 It's my nana's favorite telenovela, 101 00:04:10,877 --> 00:04:13,087 Seduccion salvaje, "savage seduction." 102 00:04:13,838 --> 00:04:16,006 But it was cancelled. It ended last night. 103 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,341 - Right, not to mention-- 104 00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:19,761 - I unplugged it when nothing else turned it off, 105 00:04:19,761 --> 00:04:21,304 And as you can see, it didn't work. 106 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:23,056 - Where is your nana now? 107 00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:25,975 - I don't know. I called everybody. 108 00:04:26,184 --> 00:04:28,811 I called the police, but they told me I had to wait 24 hours. 109 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:29,604 I can't. 110 00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,397 I just know there's something wrong. 111 00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:34,150 - Guys... - Yeah? 112 00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:35,526 - Is that her? 113 00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,194 [indistinct TV chatter] 114 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,988 - Oh, my god, nana? 115 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:42,116 [Spanish music] 116 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:49,832 ♪ ♪ 117 00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,170 - Okay, wait a minute. 118 00:04:54,921 --> 00:04:58,757 Are you telling me my nana's trapped inside a telenovela? 119 00:04:58,841 --> 00:04:59,801 - Apparently. 120 00:04:59,884 --> 00:05:01,010 Now, on the upside, 121 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,971 It looks like she's got a pretty good part. 122 00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:04,847 - She's playing the part of dona fausta obregon, 123 00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:08,976 The wise matriarch of the obregon dynasty. 124 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,103 - Is this tv new? 125 00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:12,147 - No, she got it over a year ago. 126 00:05:12,147 --> 00:05:14,524 - And you said that the telenovela ended? 127 00:05:14,524 --> 00:05:17,485 - Yes, I mean, my nana was actually pretty upset about it. 128 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:18,652 - You say that it was cancelled, 129 00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,697 And yet it's still on tv. 130 00:05:23,616 --> 00:05:26,035 Nothing. - This is the series finale. 131 00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:28,037 This is where dona fausta gets murdered. 132 00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:31,040 Oh, my god, does that mean my grandma's-- 133 00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:32,082 - Wait, wait, wait. - No, no, no. 134 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,043 Just don't get too close-- 135 00:05:34,169 --> 00:05:37,296 - No,senorcat! [cat meows] 136 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,632 - Or that might happen. 137 00:05:39,716 --> 00:05:41,467 - Mr.Gato. 138 00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:44,178 - Now at least we know how she got in there, right? 139 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:44,721 - Right. 140 00:05:44,721 --> 00:05:46,055 - Now, okay, kelly, your grandmother, 141 00:05:46,055 --> 00:05:48,516 Has she bought anything strange or old 142 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,226 Or kind of maybe an antique? 143 00:05:50,226 --> 00:05:52,478 - No, I don't know. 144 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:55,524 Maybe. I'll go upstairs and check. 145 00:05:55,649 --> 00:05:58,901 - Um, kelly, listen, everything's going to be okay. 146 00:06:00,653 --> 00:06:02,071 - I'm so glad you're here. 147 00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:06,491 - [sighs] 148 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,955 What? 149 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,669 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 150 00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:18,547 - Oh, no, I'm not talking about that. 151 00:06:18,630 --> 00:06:19,922 - Myka, please, she's married, she's got a belly out to here. 152 00:06:20,006 --> 00:06:21,633 - Look, it's none of my business. 153 00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:23,092 I don't know, can we just please go find some artifacts? 154 00:06:23,176 --> 00:06:23,759 - We're going to find the artifacts. 155 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,553 - And here we are. 156 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,267 I love this car. 157 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,769 - Could you say that more often? 158 00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:34,979 Because once every two minutes just isn't enough. 159 00:06:34,979 --> 00:06:37,189 - No, seriously, how many cars tell you where the campus is, 160 00:06:37,273 --> 00:06:38,358 Where the best parking spot is? 161 00:06:38,358 --> 00:06:39,859 It even tells me which building we want. 162 00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,611 - Ah, but can it give me a good reason 163 00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,153 To actually go to college? 164 00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:46,616 Kind of just seems like a waste of four years to me. 165 00:06:46,783 --> 00:06:48,993 - An education, a job, a career. 166 00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:51,413 - Got it, got it, and got it, and I didn't go to college. 167 00:06:51,413 --> 00:06:53,331 I'm also not in debt for the rest of my life. 168 00:06:53,331 --> 00:06:55,333 - Hey, I'll be paid up in the next five years. 169 00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:57,126 - Oh, in that case, sign me up. 170 00:06:57,252 --> 00:06:59,546 - Yes, you can do an expose on bill clinton if you want, 171 00:06:59,546 --> 00:07:01,589 But I'd say you're late to the party, okay? 172 00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:03,006 - Professor moulton. 173 00:07:04,175 --> 00:07:06,719 - Yes. Oh, agent Jinks, I presume. 174 00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:07,511 - Thanks for meeting with us. 175 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:08,971 This is my partner, agent Donovan. 176 00:07:09,055 --> 00:07:10,306 - Nice to meet you. - Professor. 177 00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:12,434 - Now, the hospital didn't have a medical explanation 178 00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,143 For what happened to charlie, and we were hoping 179 00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:16,229 That you could fill us in. 180 00:07:16,229 --> 00:07:18,648 - Honestly, I don't have an explanation either. 181 00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,483 Mr. Battes was giving a presentation 182 00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:21,776 On gonzo journalism. 183 00:07:22,068 --> 00:07:24,570 About five minutes into it, this shadow, 184 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:25,947 Is the only word to describe it, 185 00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,825 Came flying in and slammed charlie against the wall, 186 00:07:28,825 --> 00:07:30,075 And then it was gone. 187 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,119 Strangest thing I ever saw. 188 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,287 - Always is. 189 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,164 - And such a shame. 190 00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:40,210 He was a bit of a slacker, but this report was impressive, 191 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:40,753 Insightful, even. 192 00:07:40,753 --> 00:07:40,920 - Couldn't have been that insightful. 193 00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,839 The hospital said he had alcohol poisoning. 194 00:07:42,922 --> 00:07:45,382 - Impossible. I've had inebriated students. 195 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:46,967 Mr. Battes was stone-cold sober. 196 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,427 If you'll excuse me. 197 00:07:50,263 --> 00:07:53,474 - Well, yeah, but thensenorcat got too close and p-zam! 198 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:55,977 Now he's on daytime tv. 199 00:07:55,977 --> 00:08:00,273 - The tv could be a conduit or a portal for the artifact. 200 00:08:00,398 --> 00:08:01,691 - Okay, but none of granny's tchotchkes 201 00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:03,234 Are making any sparks. 202 00:08:03,234 --> 00:08:04,735 - The artifact could be in there with her. 203 00:08:04,861 --> 00:08:05,736 - Uh-oh. 204 00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:07,905 - Pete-- 205 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:08,865 - [screams] -abuela,no! 206 00:08:08,948 --> 00:08:11,367 - Kelly, don't! 207 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:14,036 -abuelita, estas bien? 208 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,913 - [speaking spanish] 209 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,748 - Holy poltergeist. 210 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,542 - What? What was that light? 211 00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:22,753 - [speaking spanish] 212 00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:25,715 - This house is not clean. 213 00:08:26,007 --> 00:08:27,508 - What? Speak english! 214 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,138 - Artie... 215 00:08:32,138 --> 00:08:33,596 Things just got cray-cray. 216 00:08:45,026 --> 00:08:50,947 [both speaking Spanish] 217 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:04,878 - [gasps] 218 00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:24,981 - [gasps] 219 00:09:33,908 --> 00:09:36,618 [cat yowls] 220 00:09:38,663 --> 00:09:40,581 - Hello, Pete? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm in here. 221 00:09:40,706 --> 00:09:41,998 - What's happening? 222 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,795 - Well, I don't speak spanish, 223 00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:48,256 But Myka's a super hot maid who hates kelly, 224 00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:49,673 And their waiting for this guy, armando, 225 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,008 Who I'm hoping doesn't show up 226 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,885 'cause I really want to see these two make out. 227 00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:54,220 - I meant with the artifact. 228 00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:57,014 - Oh, right, um, there's nothing in the house, 229 00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:59,642 But grandma got this in the mail yesterday 230 00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:00,935 From the telenovela people. 231 00:10:00,935 --> 00:10:02,520 - What does it say? - I don't know. It's in spanish. 232 00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:05,188 - Give me that. I happen to read spanish. 233 00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,817 Dear mrs. Hernandez, blah, blah, blah-- 234 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:09,235 - Really, blah, blah, blah? 235 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,362 What, is that spanish for "blah, blah, blah"? 236 00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:13,948 - "for being such a huge fan, 237 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,492 "please accept this obregon brooch 238 00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:18,995 That dona fausta wore in the show." 239 00:10:18,995 --> 00:10:22,080 - A brooch, as in a fancy pin? 240 00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:25,501 - A brooch, as in that. 241 00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:32,008 - Ooh, bling ping. 242 00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:34,176 - Okay, dudes, this is charlie's room. 243 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:37,137 - Ugh, another temple of higher learning. 244 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,972 Ugh, kids today. 245 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,142 - Kids today are your age. 246 00:10:41,142 --> 00:10:42,892 - Then they should have better taste. 247 00:10:43,853 --> 00:10:45,521 - So, dan, would you say 248 00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:47,690 That charlie was a studier or a partier? 249 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,150 - Yeah, definitely. 250 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:54,363 Dude, he wants to study and party, obviously, like everyone. 251 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,531 - Uh-huh. 252 00:10:55,615 --> 00:10:57,074 So when was the last time you saw him? 253 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:58,075 - This morning. 254 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,535 I don't know, around 6:30? 255 00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:00,744 - Oh, right before moulton's class? 256 00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:02,371 - I don't know how he got there. 257 00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:04,040 Charlie partied hearty all night, 258 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,625 I mean, I bailed at sunrise, 259 00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:07,752 He was still barfing off the side of the bridge. 260 00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:10,963 - Moulton said he was sober and insightful half an hour later. 261 00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:12,381 - Dude, try barely walking. 262 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:18,554 - Okay, but how does a cheap tv prop 263 00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:19,430 Become an artifact? 264 00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:20,890 - Probably was just a cheap tv prop 265 00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:23,267 Until kelly's grandmother got it. 266 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,102 Elderly shut-in, lost her husband. 267 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:27,355 Sometimes people fill a void 268 00:11:27,355 --> 00:11:29,315 With an obsessive attachment to a tv show. 269 00:11:29,315 --> 00:11:31,316 - Hey, I watchbreaking amish because I like it, okay? 270 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,110 I can quit anytime. 271 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:35,613 - When her telenovela was cancelled, 272 00:11:35,822 --> 00:11:39,117 Maybe the brooch was imbued with her longing to escape. 273 00:11:39,117 --> 00:11:41,703 - Yeah, but if she can make a new artifact out of something 274 00:11:41,703 --> 00:11:43,830 We know nothing about, then how do we stop it? 275 00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:46,708 - By getting in there and neutralizing it 276 00:11:46,708 --> 00:11:49,711 Before the episode ends and hortencia dies. 277 00:11:49,711 --> 00:11:50,878 - Yeah, but, Artie, then we could end up 278 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:52,421 Just like Myka and kelly. 279 00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,840 I mean, they're not just playing maribel and carmen, 280 00:11:54,924 --> 00:11:57,009 They are maribel and carmen. 281 00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,968 - These cufflinks, they once belonged 282 00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:03,058 To harvey korman fromthe carol burnett show. 283 00:12:03,058 --> 00:12:05,768 He was famous for never being able to stay in character. 284 00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:08,270 As long as you and I each hold one of these, 285 00:12:09,355 --> 00:12:10,731 We will stay ourselves. 286 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,148 You ready? 287 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,026 - Sure. 288 00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:15,486 Oh, hey, Artie? 289 00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:16,862 Next week can we go meet honey boo boo? 290 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:17,738 - Shut up and get in the tv. - Okay. 291 00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,749 [speaking Spanish] 292 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,138 [laughs] 293 00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:09,790 - Congrats. 294 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,752 Your prius found their off-campus study group. 295 00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:19,008 - This glass is on top of the dust. 296 00:13:19,008 --> 00:13:21,218 This window must have been shattered recently, 297 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:21,927 Maybe this morning. 298 00:13:22,011 --> 00:13:24,513 - Well, dan said charlie was up there. 299 00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:26,974 - Oh, you think he fell from the bridge? 300 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,725 - Yeah... 301 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:33,063 Oh, hey. 302 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,731 [blows] 303 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,358 Look at this. 304 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,900 Higher education at work. 305 00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,614 Oh, our guy was a videographer. 306 00:13:43,324 --> 00:13:44,783 - Hey, charlie, careful. 307 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:48,537 - Ppz rules! Whoo! 308 00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:51,040 #mihi ardeat lucerna! 309 00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:53,917 Whoo-- oh! 310 00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:55,627 - Ooh. - Ouch. 311 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:56,837 - That had to hurt. 312 00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,422 - Claude, the way that he hit, 313 00:13:58,422 --> 00:14:00,382 That fits the impact that professor moulton described 314 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:01,801 When charlie slammed into the wall. 315 00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:03,469 - It also explains his broken back. 316 00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:05,721 I mean, the goober's lucky he's still alive. 317 00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:07,597 This video was taken at 7:14 a.M. 318 00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,059 That's right in the middle of charlie's presentation. 319 00:14:10,059 --> 00:14:11,727 - So he was in two places at once? 320 00:14:11,727 --> 00:14:12,978 - Let's play that again, sam. 321 00:14:13,062 --> 00:14:14,771 Mihi ardeat lucerna! 322 00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,606 Whoo-- [crash] 323 00:14:17,984 --> 00:14:20,444 - That's latin. It means "my candle burns." 324 00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:22,028 Why would a college kid yell that? 325 00:14:23,239 --> 00:14:25,783 - Ppz, that could be psi phi zeta, 326 00:14:26,034 --> 00:14:28,451 And the latin, that could be a fraternity motto. 327 00:14:29,078 --> 00:14:30,370 - Nice work, jinksy. 328 00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:31,954 Wait, were you in a frat? 329 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,710 Oh, my god, you were in a frat. 330 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,253 I bet you were just like hoover. 331 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:57,898 - [gasps] 332 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,531 - Armando! 333 00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:09,659 - [sighs] kelly... 334 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,121 Ay! 335 00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:56,331 Wha--wha--wha--uh... 336 00:15:58,834 --> 00:15:59,542 [phone beeps] 337 00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:07,277 - I ain't never met charlie. 338 00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:08,444 - So he isn't a pledge here. 339 00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:10,739 - I don't think so. 340 00:17:10,823 --> 00:17:12,114 - Why are you lying to us, biff? 341 00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:15,661 - It's bryce, and I'm not. 342 00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:17,413 - Uh-huh, and what about this? 343 00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:19,373 -mihi ardeat lucerna! 344 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,250 - That's your frat motto, I believe. 345 00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,252 - Whatever, just 'cause he knows our motto 346 00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:24,420 Doesn't mean he's pledging. 347 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,129 - So you don't mind if we have a look around, then? 348 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,048 - It depends what you're looking for. 349 00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:31,218 - Hey, pretty lady, what's up? 350 00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:34,346 - Ox, damn it, ox, get back downstairs. 351 00:17:34,430 --> 00:17:37,224 Look, my dad runs the biggest law firm in minnesota. 352 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,434 I know my rights. Get a warrant. 353 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:42,812 - Nice guy. 354 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,733 - Yep, college sure is impressive. 355 00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:47,817 - Claude, look, isn't that ox? 356 00:17:48,861 --> 00:17:51,780 - Yeah, ox just went back downstairs. 357 00:17:51,906 --> 00:17:54,116 I want to see what's down there. 358 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:57,077 Come on. 359 00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:02,624 All: Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, 360 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,960 Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! 361 00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,921 - [burps] 362 00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:09,923 - Methinks these frat losers have a duplication artifact. 363 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,842 Splits you in two. 364 00:18:11,926 --> 00:18:15,554 A you that parties hard, and a you that works hard. 365 00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,389 All: Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! 366 00:18:17,473 --> 00:18:19,641 [all cheering] 367 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,984 - Oh, dude, I think I'm gonna puke. 368 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,902 [vomits] 369 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,038 - [screams] [gunshot] 370 00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,502 [gasps] Dona fausta! 371 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:51,214 [gasps] 372 00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,257 Dona-- 373 00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,055 Oh...Uh... 374 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,648 -caramba. 375 00:19:15,823 --> 00:19:18,491 [background chatter in Spanish] 376 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,699 All: Ah. 377 00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:57,758 -alla. -alla? 378 00:20:57,841 --> 00:21:02,262 - [speaking spanish] 379 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,055 - Ah. 380 00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:37,131 - Okay, we blend in, we hit the basement, we bag the artifact. 381 00:21:37,131 --> 00:21:39,716 That's a great plan, except that bryce will recognize our faces. 382 00:21:39,716 --> 00:21:42,552 - Oh, don't worry, he won't be looking at our faces. 383 00:21:42,678 --> 00:21:45,930 - [chuckles] - Mm-hmm. 384 00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:53,897 Nice work, ladies, take five. 385 00:21:54,565 --> 00:21:57,192 All right, frat boy, what kind of heathen initiation ritual 386 00:21:57,192 --> 00:21:58,527 Am I about to walk into here? 387 00:21:58,527 --> 00:22:00,028 - I don't know. My frat wasn't like this. 388 00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,988 We had book club and yuletide a cappella. 389 00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:04,491 Please forget that I said that. 390 00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:07,035 - Oh, my god. It just gets better. 391 00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:10,496 - I say we follow him. - Oh, yeah. 392 00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:12,874 - Don't start without me! 393 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,419 All:mihi ardeat lucerna, mihi ardeat... 394 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:22,633 - Okay, they're not doing yuletide a cappella. 395 00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:30,159 - Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. 396 00:23:44,341 --> 00:23:46,551 - So can your twin peaks get us in there? 397 00:23:46,802 --> 00:23:49,011 - These are only one of my many superpowers. 398 00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:50,639 - Wait, guys, wait. 399 00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:51,931 - Watch this. 400 00:23:52,599 --> 00:23:53,516 [giggles] Oh, my god. 401 00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:56,018 I am so drunk. You got to help me. 402 00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:05,112 You're up, plebe. 403 00:24:05,237 --> 00:24:08,448 All: Mihi ardeat lucerna. 404 00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:11,409 Mihi ardeat lucerna. 405 00:24:11,493 --> 00:24:13,119 - Mihi... 406 00:24:18,041 --> 00:24:20,502 - My candle burns at both ends. 407 00:24:20,961 --> 00:24:23,046 All: It will not last the night. 408 00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:25,381 - But all my foes and all my friends... 409 00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:27,175 All: It gives a lovely light. 410 00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:29,344 Psi phi zeta burn. 411 00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:31,930 Psi phi zeta bright. 412 00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:33,807 Psi phi zeta learn. 413 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:36,935 Psi phi zeta all night. 414 00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,311 - Hey, what the hell is that, man? 415 00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:41,314 - You again. 416 00:24:42,941 --> 00:24:45,152 - Bryce, you have no idea how dangerous that is. 417 00:24:45,152 --> 00:24:45,986 You got to give me that candle. 418 00:24:45,986 --> 00:24:47,779 - This guy's an atf agent. 419 00:24:47,904 --> 00:24:51,533 - [screams] 420 00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:54,119 - Steve, what happened? 421 00:24:54,328 --> 00:24:56,163 Did you get the artifact? Was that you screaming? 422 00:24:56,163 --> 00:24:57,664 - Oh, honey, I didn't scream. 423 00:24:57,664 --> 00:24:59,207 It was that silly bitch. 424 00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:01,834 - Oh, grow up. 425 00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:52,176 - No, no, no, no, no, no. 426 00:26:26,711 --> 00:26:28,837 - Ole! 427 00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:37,513 - Ay! 428 00:26:57,659 --> 00:27:02,079 - [panting] 429 00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:16,093 Ay! [gagging] 430 00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:24,644 - Ole! 431 00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,816 Ole! 432 00:27:35,030 --> 00:27:37,114 - [coughing] 433 00:28:00,346 --> 00:28:01,556 - Maribel, maribel. 434 00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:05,017 Si. 435 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,976 - Ole! 436 00:28:48,102 --> 00:28:49,103 - Hmm? 437 00:28:52,607 --> 00:28:56,235 - Two steves, can I just say this is amaze-balls? 438 00:28:56,485 --> 00:28:58,363 - Actually it's not. 439 00:28:58,363 --> 00:28:59,781 A dangerous artifact is bad enough, 440 00:28:59,781 --> 00:29:02,491 But this--this is rampant underage drinking. 441 00:29:02,491 --> 00:29:04,202 - Oh, boo-hoo, nancy drew. 442 00:29:04,285 --> 00:29:05,579 - We should call the police. 443 00:29:05,579 --> 00:29:07,205 - Un-bunch your panties, will you? 444 00:29:07,205 --> 00:29:08,873 I mean, check out our bestie, the girls are out, 445 00:29:08,957 --> 00:29:10,833 And they are looking fabulous. 446 00:29:10,833 --> 00:29:11,918 It's a party. 447 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:13,169 You need to relax your kegel 448 00:29:13,169 --> 00:29:14,963 And drown me in a daiquiri, you insufferable bitch! 449 00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:15,004 - We need to find this artifact first before you kill me, 450 00:29:15,004 --> 00:29:16,089 You irresponsible slut! 451 00:29:16,631 --> 00:29:18,800 - Steves, mm, loving you both, you a little bit more, 452 00:29:19,634 --> 00:29:21,969 But let's just split up and find bryce, okay? 453 00:29:29,519 --> 00:29:31,395 - First one to zap a frat boy gets to keep him. 454 00:29:31,479 --> 00:29:33,899 - Oh, man! 455 00:29:34,066 --> 00:29:36,234 [laughs] actually, this is my badge. Where's bryce? 456 00:29:36,651 --> 00:29:38,486 - Do your parents know that you're here? 457 00:29:38,486 --> 00:29:40,321 - Bryce. Look at my lips. 458 00:29:40,321 --> 00:29:41,906 Bryce. I'm looking for bryce. 459 00:29:41,906 --> 00:29:42,448 Do you know him? 460 00:29:43,533 --> 00:29:45,242 - Hey, let me see your driver's license. 461 00:29:45,785 --> 00:29:47,829 - My eyes are up here. Bryce. 462 00:29:47,954 --> 00:29:49,956 - Plucked brow, clean back of the neck, 463 00:29:50,498 --> 00:29:52,625 Flawless cuticles, you're gay. 464 00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:53,626 - No, I'm not. 465 00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:55,795 - You're lying. 466 00:30:03,761 --> 00:30:04,929 - Bryce. 467 00:30:05,013 --> 00:30:06,806 Hey, bryce! 468 00:30:06,889 --> 00:30:09,558 - Steves. 469 00:30:09,558 --> 00:30:10,810 - Come on, you silly twit. 470 00:30:12,270 --> 00:30:13,854 - Oh! Can a girl get a hand? 471 00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:27,994 - Aye-yi-yi. 472 00:30:28,077 --> 00:30:29,037 - Ay. 473 00:30:29,162 --> 00:30:30,329 - No, no--ay! 474 00:30:35,501 --> 00:30:36,544 - Ole! 475 00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:40,715 - Ay! Myka! 476 00:30:43,384 --> 00:30:44,593 [coughing] 477 00:31:31,307 --> 00:31:34,269 - Grr. I love it when I'm butch. 478 00:31:34,269 --> 00:31:36,395 - No, no, wait. Listen, I'm innocent. 479 00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:37,647 I didn't do it. 480 00:31:37,647 --> 00:31:40,650 - Do what, biff, use an artifact to duplicate your frat brothers? 481 00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:41,901 - Is that a candle in your pocket, 482 00:31:41,901 --> 00:31:43,403 Or are you just really into twins? 483 00:31:43,737 --> 00:31:44,946 - Tell me about the candle, bryce. 484 00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:48,157 - Okay, it belonged to edna st. Vincent millay, all right? 485 00:31:48,157 --> 00:31:50,201 - Of course. "my candle burns at both ends. 486 00:31:50,201 --> 00:31:51,411 It will not last the night." 487 00:31:51,494 --> 00:31:53,580 - O.M.G. What rhymes with "bore me"? 488 00:31:53,663 --> 00:31:55,039 - Please don't call my dad. 489 00:31:55,331 --> 00:31:57,625 - Okay, let's finish this. - Oh, no, no. 490 00:31:57,917 --> 00:31:59,169 I'm just getting started. 491 00:31:59,253 --> 00:32:02,129 - Damn it, your evil twin sister's got the candle. 492 00:32:15,768 --> 00:32:17,853 - Uh... 493 00:32:44,713 --> 00:32:46,089 - Ole! 494 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,947 - Ay! 495 00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:53,908 - [gasps] 496 00:34:04,877 --> 00:34:06,962 - [laughs] 497 00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:12,259 -coronel! 498 00:34:58,931 --> 00:35:00,557 - Ole! 499 00:35:07,856 --> 00:35:09,316 -si. 500 00:35:20,744 --> 00:35:21,369 -ah, bueno. 501 00:36:32,024 --> 00:36:34,735 - Ay! - Dona fausta! 502 00:36:34,861 --> 00:36:38,113 All: Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! 503 00:36:38,197 --> 00:36:39,698 - Enough. 504 00:36:43,411 --> 00:36:44,537 Give me the artifact. 505 00:36:44,871 --> 00:36:46,831 - Come and get it, lady poopy pants. 506 00:36:46,914 --> 00:36:48,833 All: Twin fight! Twin fight! Twin fight! 507 00:36:48,916 --> 00:36:51,626 - You are a prude and a nag. 508 00:36:52,086 --> 00:36:53,880 - You're a self-obsessed slut. 509 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,090 - You are the worst gay guy ever. 510 00:36:56,215 --> 00:36:57,174 - Ow! 511 00:37:11,855 --> 00:37:13,273 - [screams] 512 00:37:16,026 --> 00:37:18,528 - [groans] 513 00:37:25,994 --> 00:37:29,248 - Ole! 514 00:37:31,542 --> 00:37:32,709 - Ay! 515 00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:51,229 All: Twin fight! Twin fight! Twin fight! 516 00:37:51,312 --> 00:37:55,107 - You're gonna die a lonely old hag. 517 00:37:56,568 --> 00:37:58,444 - Well, that's better than a whore in the gutter. 518 00:37:58,527 --> 00:38:01,863 - Well, it sounds good to me. 519 00:38:03,950 --> 00:38:05,492 - No way, secret agent girl. 520 00:38:07,495 --> 00:38:09,163 - I would have done well in school. 521 00:38:13,834 --> 00:38:16,463 Oh, curses. How do I fix this? 522 00:38:16,588 --> 00:38:19,465 Ugh, okay, think, think, think. How did it stop before? 523 00:38:19,882 --> 00:38:21,800 Charlie fell off the building, ox just passed out. 524 00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:23,928 Uh... 525 00:38:24,011 --> 00:38:25,513 All: Twin fight! Twin fight! Twin fight! 526 00:38:25,638 --> 00:38:26,930 - Hey, steve. 527 00:38:27,055 --> 00:38:28,932 - Claudia? 528 00:38:29,016 --> 00:38:31,602 Doll face, w.T.F.? 529 00:38:32,061 --> 00:38:33,646 - Sorry, sweetie, you were really fun. 530 00:38:33,646 --> 00:38:34,896 See you around sometime. 531 00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:36,064 [scattered gasps] 532 00:38:38,734 --> 00:38:39,776 - Look out, look out! 533 00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:41,736 [all shout] 534 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,363 [crowd cheers] 535 00:38:44,699 --> 00:38:47,075 - Are you okay? - I think I'm gonna throw up. 536 00:38:47,409 --> 00:38:48,869 - Oh, not on these shoes. Okay. 537 00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:58,128 - Ooh. 538 00:39:11,350 --> 00:39:13,227 - [laughs] 539 00:39:13,310 --> 00:39:14,811 - Ahh! 540 00:39:21,735 --> 00:39:24,988 - Ole! 541 00:39:25,113 --> 00:39:26,114 - [coughing] 542 00:39:29,243 --> 00:39:31,745 - Dona fausta! - No! 543 00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:36,291 [both sigh] 544 00:39:40,254 --> 00:39:41,421 [purrs] 545 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:45,717 - [gasps] 546 00:39:56,228 --> 00:39:56,978 - [gasps] 547 00:40:17,416 --> 00:40:19,000 - Eh? - Ay! 548 00:40:19,084 --> 00:40:20,961 - Oy. 549 00:40:24,632 --> 00:40:26,217 - So any residual effects? 550 00:40:26,217 --> 00:40:27,968 - Besides the bruises, the hangover, 551 00:40:27,968 --> 00:40:29,095 And your relentless nagging me 552 00:40:29,095 --> 00:40:30,137 To call everyone I see a "biatch"? 553 00:40:30,263 --> 00:40:32,055 - Say it again! Say it again! - No, stop that. 554 00:40:32,932 --> 00:40:34,392 - [laughs] well, on the upside, I think I've come up with, 555 00:40:34,517 --> 00:40:36,018 Like, ten new things to try on claire next, 556 00:40:36,102 --> 00:40:39,397 So--wait for it-- you were right. 557 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,315 Fixing her is going to be a marathon. 558 00:40:41,690 --> 00:40:43,525 I needed a break, and I need to pace myself. 559 00:40:44,903 --> 00:40:48,571 Oh, and, steve, I will never let you die a lonely, old hag. 560 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,409 - Thanks, biatch. 561 00:40:52,534 --> 00:40:55,036 - Oh, shante, you stay. 562 00:40:59,082 --> 00:41:01,710 - Hey. - Hey. 563 00:41:01,710 --> 00:41:03,921 - Artie took off. - Okay. 564 00:41:03,921 --> 00:41:05,255 - That was weird, right? 565 00:41:05,255 --> 00:41:07,383 - Weird artifact weirdiness. 566 00:41:07,383 --> 00:41:08,717 - Let's never talk about it again. 567 00:41:08,717 --> 00:41:09,468 - Talk about what? 568 00:41:09,593 --> 00:41:12,054 [both laugh] 569 00:41:12,138 --> 00:41:14,139 - You know, I'm just gonna wait for you outside. 570 00:41:14,264 --> 00:41:17,601 - Okay. - Okay. 571 00:41:17,726 --> 00:41:20,062 - Hey. - Hey. 572 00:41:20,146 --> 00:41:22,439 - So how'sabuelita? 573 00:41:22,523 --> 00:41:24,066 - Oh, she'll be fine. 574 00:41:24,191 --> 00:41:25,108 I'm going to spend a couple of days with her 575 00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:26,485 To make sure she's okay. 576 00:41:27,153 --> 00:41:28,570 But she's already crazy 577 00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:30,990 About a new telenovela, burning love. 578 00:41:31,115 --> 00:41:32,825 - [sobbing] no... 579 00:41:32,950 --> 00:41:34,869 [speaks Spanish] 580 00:41:34,994 --> 00:41:37,538 - Ah, well, she's lucky to have you. 581 00:41:37,830 --> 00:41:39,039 - I'm lucky I knew you. 582 00:41:42,293 --> 00:41:44,837 - Right. Here we go. - Well, it was great seeing you. 583 00:41:44,962 --> 00:41:46,796 - Enough weirdness for one day. - Yeah. 584 00:41:48,257 --> 00:41:52,303 - Thanks for everything, and, you know, seriously, good luck, 585 00:41:52,386 --> 00:41:55,598 Okay, and sorry it didn't work out between us. 586 00:41:55,598 --> 00:41:57,891 - Pete, please. We both know it wouldn't have worked. 587 00:41:58,642 --> 00:42:00,101 - [laughs] why do you say that? 588 00:42:01,103 --> 00:42:02,729 - Because you're in love with Myka. 589 00:42:10,029 --> 00:42:11,154 [horn honks] - Pete, let's go. 590 00:42:19,622 --> 00:42:21,916 - What have you done? I thought this was settled. 591 00:42:21,916 --> 00:42:23,083 What did you do? 592 00:42:23,083 --> 00:42:24,501 - Calm down. What are you talking about? 593 00:42:24,501 --> 00:42:25,545 - You know what I'm talking about. 594 00:42:25,545 --> 00:42:27,087 What did you do with claire? - Nothing. 595 00:42:27,087 --> 00:42:29,173 Why, what happened? Where's claire? 596 00:42:29,256 --> 00:42:33,260 - She's gone. Someone took her. 597 00:42:53,739 --> 00:42:57,742 - Ole!